It is always difficult trying to find the situation that works best for your mom.  Sometimes it involves trial and error.  She claims that she wants more activity, yet will not participate in her assisted living's current activities.  The important thing is that your mother is talking about her likes/dislikes and frusterations.  Ask her specific questions.  "What activities would you like to see added?"  What current activities are you involved in that you like?"  Try to uncover the truth behind her request.  She may just be trying to talk with you or she may be depressed.  Understanding the root cause is step one in determining what is really going on.

Determining whether your mom needs stay at home care or assisted living can be difficult.  Why did she move into assisted living in the first place?  What benefits does it have versus at home care?  If your mother is truly seeking a social/active life-style, assisted living may be the best option.  Many times people want to stay at home, but find themselves bored or in need of stimulation and social interaction.  Conversely, staying at home and keeping an active/social life-style may be ideal for your mother. 

You will have to weigh the pros and cons and work to uncover what your mother truly wants and needs.  Safety and health are key factors, but happiness plays a huge role in her overall well-being.  Be sure to keep an open dialogue with your mother, friends, and family members.  

Good luck and God bless in your quest! 

Home health care is a great option for those who need a little oversight and services, yet are able to remain in the home.  Assisted living facilities also work closely with home health care agencies to provide additional care.  It is a wonderful, cohesive relationship that benefits the resident tremendously! 

Best, 

Jackie

-m.

Hi,

I am not in the position that I have to think about moving my parents into an assisted living home but if I had to I would take a great deal of time walking around the homes that we were considering and talking with any and all staff that I could. It's a very hard decision and not necessarily a fun one but something that must be considered for some people and maybe considered before it's too late... meaning a decision has to be made quickly rather than slowly and thoughtfully.

Louisa

Your scenerio is all too familiar.  Many people are faced with similar situations.  Sometimes the most difficult aspect of moving a loved one into an assisted living facility is the guilt that you feel.  You must, however, weigh the risk vs reward of moving your mom.  Is she safe at home?  Do you know that she would benefit from the care and socialization at an assisted living facility?  Initially the move may be difficult, both for you and your mother; you will need to look at the big picture and understand that with time, her situation may improve substantially.  It takes a couple of weeks or even months for most residents to be comfortable with their new environment and way of living.  You may also find that your relationship with your mom is less strained and you can spend more quality time with her enjoying life rather than worrying about her health and safety. 

Hope that helps and Good Luck!

Trish 

Thanks!

m.