Sera,

It is always difficult trying to find the situation that works best for your mom.  Sometimes it involves trial and error.  She claims that she wants more activity, yet will not participate in her assisted living's current activities.  The important thing is that your mother is talking about her likes/dislikes and frusterations.  Ask her specific questions.  “What activities would you like to see added?”  What current activities are you involved in that you like?”  Try to uncover the truth behind her request.  She may just be trying to talk with you or she may be depressed.  Understanding the root cause is step one in determining what is really going on.

Determining whether your mom needs stay at home care or assisted living can be difficult.  Why did she move into assisted living in the first place?  What benefits does it have versus at home care?  If your mother is truly seeking a social/active life-style, assisted living may be the best option.  Many times people want to stay at home, but find themselves bored or in need of stimulation and social interaction.  Conversely, staying at home and keeping an active/social life-style may be ideal for your mother. 

You will have to weigh the pros and cons and work to uncover what your mother truly wants and needs.  Safety and health are key factors, but happiness plays a huge role in her overall well-being.  Be sure to keep an open dialogue with your mother, friends, and family members.  

Good luck and God bless in your quest!