When it comes to choosing the right path, you have to think about a few things. Here are some considerations to help you determine whether this is an option and if it is the right one for your loved one:

-What do they want? This is the most important element in the entire conversation. Obviously, if a physical or mental impairment impedes your loved one’s ability to make the proper decision or stay on their own, you will have to keep that in mind. However, in most cases, your parent or loved one will understand their situation and be capable of choosing the option that they would most prefer.

-What is keeping them from living independently? Many like the sense of community and the environment of assisted living. It is an appealing situation, after all. People can enjoy socializing, hobbies, and traveling while their basic needs are taken care of by the staff. If your parents are feeling isolated, this can often be the best solution.

-Is living with you an option? For many reasons, children often don’t want to give up their independence. At the same time, many parents balk at the idea of becoming the child by moving in with their own children. Assisted living provides the interaction, community, and assistance that your parents need without compromising anyone’s independence or putting a strain on your relationship.

You really need to weigh the options and see what is best for your parent or loved one. For some people, it’s a question with an easy answer. For others, it might take some time to consider the benefits of each situation and discuss which is truly best. Ultimately, the decision will depend on the circumstances of your parent. There are some situations where assisted living is not an option, but this is rarely the case. For the most part, many older adults enjoy the assisted living environment because it gives them socialization and the freedom to enjoy their retirement while all the basics are taken care of for them.

Contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for a senior lifestyle and senior health web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as information on medical alert systems.

If so, you’ve no doubt enjoyed having the bragging rights about your mother’s, father’s or friend’s health and mental clarity. They’ve always been independent and always cared for themselves. Now, you may find that things are slowly beginning to change as the wheels of time move ever more further forward.

Are you noticing the factors that are affecting your communications, not the least of which could be your elderly loved one(s) memory lapse along with their hearing loss? Like, maybe your mom is forgetting that on Mother’s Day you always exchanged gifts and cards. Or, maybe your father just called you to ask when your birthday was. Or, your elderly friend is forgetting when s/he had their last meal.

As a sibling, you may be noticing the struggle with your “new” mother/father, as you find yourself desperate for the return of your “old” parent… which was the walking family story teller, the best cook in the world, and the fiercest scrabble competitor on the planet.

Are you spending more and more time assisting your elderly loved one around their home?… Or, might you be finding yourself driving to and from appointments, which previously were errands that they handled easily by themselves?

Feelings of sadness that come with past parental reflections can be one of the most powerful of emotions for anyone to negotiate. As well as, dealing with new surroundings… like, a parent that can’t grasp a fork and a knife in their arthritic hands, or, your senior finding it ever more difficult to negotiate simple tasks. Feelings of despair for one-self and sympathy for your elderly loved one is a tough situation to find yourself in, indeed.

As a caregiver, (and in order to cope) you may find it difficult to reach-out and ask for some advice from others that are going through the same concerns and experiences for encouragement, along with the experts, which can provide insights. But reaching out you must in order to comfort your soul.

Remember to also keep in mind ‘who’ your parent’s/friend used to be and cherish those memories no matter what. Cry, rejoice and live the moment of the beauty that life gave the both of you. If you’re that care-giving son, daughter or friend… these times can be certainly confusing. You may never get over seeing such radical day to day changes. But, you’ll certainly want to appreciate ‘with gratitude’ the bountifulness that comes with your wonderful memories.

Yes indeed, be good to yourself as that ever important caregiver!

Trisha Kellogg
Sunshine Gardens Senior Community

www.sgwseniors.com

… feel free to contact me here:
kelloggt@durango.net
970-385-4090