When it comes to choosing the right path, you have to think about a few things. Here are some considerations to help you determine whether this is an option and if it is the right one for your loved one:

-What do they want? This is the most important element in the entire conversation. Obviously, if a physical or mental impairment impedes your loved one’s ability to make the proper decision or stay on their own, you will have to keep that in mind. However, in most cases, your parent or loved one will understand their situation and be capable of choosing the option that they would most prefer.

-What is keeping them from living independently? Many like the sense of community and the environment of assisted living. It is an appealing situation, after all. People can enjoy socializing, hobbies, and traveling while their basic needs are taken care of by the staff. If your parents are feeling isolated, this can often be the best solution.

-Is living with you an option? For many reasons, children often don’t want to give up their independence. At the same time, many parents balk at the idea of becoming the child by moving in with their own children. Assisted living provides the interaction, community, and assistance that your parents need without compromising anyone’s independence or putting a strain on your relationship.

You really need to weigh the options and see what is best for your parent or loved one. For some people, it’s a question with an easy answer. For others, it might take some time to consider the benefits of each situation and discuss which is truly best. Ultimately, the decision will depend on the circumstances of your parent. There are some situations where assisted living is not an option, but this is rarely the case. For the most part, many older adults enjoy the assisted living environment because it gives them socialization and the freedom to enjoy their retirement while all the basics are taken care of for them.

Contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for a senior lifestyle and senior health web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as information on medical alert systems.

How will you go about this and what is the proper way to bring up the topic?

It is important that you talk to your parents about long term elderly care before a major illness or crisis occurs. It is a lot easier to discuss scenarios and act on logic when your parents are still in good health. If you choose to wait, you may miss your opportunity.

When initiating the conversation, do not try to tackle everything at once. Ask open -ended questions like “When you think about the future, where do you see yourself?” Try not to be judgmental with their responses and listen to their thoughts and feelings.

It is also important not to overload them with questions. Have several short conversations so that they do not feel you are interrogating them.

Approaching your parents depends on their personality type. Some people need the direct approach, “I noticed your health is declining and we need to discuss living options for the future.” Others prefer an indirect method, “I noticed that Nancy from across the street moved into an adult living facility; do you know anything about that?”…

It is, however, important to be clear with your parents about health and safety, regardless of the style of approach you use. Be factual about any particular needs or their medical prognosis and be honest.

It may also be necessary to bring others to help you during these conversations for moral support or to reiterate the importance of the discussion.

Realizing that it is time for you to address the possibility of assisted living and elderly care housing with your parents can sometimes be unsettling, but don’t feel that you need to tackle the issue all at once. Plan a series of questions to ask your parents and prepare for all types of responses. If necessary, contact a local assisted living facility or the health department for more suggestions and advice.

Sunshine Gardens Senior Community
www.sgwseniors.com

… feel free to contact me here:
kelloggt@durango.net
970-385-4090